I am a bit surprised at your reaction to the Ref 3 speakers, as my experience with them is quite different than yours. I ran a pair of de Capo i's for several years with a 35 W tube integrated (Primaluna Dialogue One), and I loved the sound. They were very articulate IME, somewhat reminding me of electrostatics with their jump factor and delineation of musical lines (attributed to there being no crossover element on the woofer/midrange driver). Regarding volume, one downside of the amp/speaker pairing in my system and room was that I couldn't get the volume knob up past ~10 o'clock, because things just got too loud. This made it a challenge to get volume level just right, since the pot wasn't as finely sensitive at its lower end.
I actually tried a pair of B&W 805's in the same system/room and decideldly did not like them. They just didn't have the life that the Ref 3's brought. Maybe this is all about amp/speaker interaction? Or room acoustics and positioning?