Bad experience with an electrician

How many Lieutenants does it take to screw in a light bulb ? One, he just holds it up and the world revolves around him. 

Shocking Erik, just shocking!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?  Only one, but the bulb really has to want to change.

@erik_squires ,

My college professor who was teaching EE, said that joke the first day of class back in 1975.

Maybe next time try a plumber.

What’s the one thing snipers can’t tell their wives?
 
I missed you this morning.

Interesting, because most people get a charge out of that.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Saul.

Saul who?

Saul there is. There ain’t no more.

—Fletcher Henderson, 1930s big-band leader

Lunar new year....or just loony new newz? 😏 *L*

"When the going gets tough...

...the freaks just get freakier..."

(Paraphrasing H. S. Thompson) ;)

My college professor who was teaching EE, said that joke the first day of class back in 1975.

@stereo5 I resemble the implication!

Maybe next time try a plumber.

@bigburban

I did. She kept telling me to pipe down.

If a siamese twin is master bating can you call it incest?

Laughing....

Two behaviorists met on a street corner. 
One said, you're fine, how am I?

Last week I bought what must be the worlds worst Thesaurus.  It isn't just terrible, it's terrible.   

Anyone know the difference in the people of Dubai and the people in Abu Dhabi?

Ok, I’ll tell you.

The people of Dubai don’t like Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Doooo

...death, by 1K puns...

O, Lard....deliver uz from doom....

"Nah..*cosmic laughter*"

....the only thing they fear....is you.

I went to the Doctor's and said I had broke my arm in two places.

The Doctor said don't go to those two places.

When does an electrician knows where to stop?

When it hertz.

How many "Country Music" bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

1, no 5, no it's 1, no, it's 5, no! it's 1, no!, it's 5 

a little musician humor for you

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

― Dorothy Parker

All the best,
Nonoise

"Waiting For the Electrician or Someone Like Him" came out in 1968...man...I'm REALLY getting old... 

Sad musician humor from the 80's:

"What do you call a drummer?"

"Unemployed."

Computers and drum machines destroyed pop music. 😢

New package store just opened that  also has a casino in the back room.

Name of this establishment?

Liquor Up Front, Poker In The Rear

@tomcarr That's just Baaaaaaaaaaaaad 🤣

@bigtwin 😏

Are you positive your negative?

Move on.

Why does a transformer hum?

Because it doesn't know the words

The resistance to humor in this forum is crimp worthy

must fun thread in a good long while...  laughter is good!!!  

What is a bad electrician?

A shock absorber.

OK, Fine!

    How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs. Hippies screw in dirty sleeping bags.

    How do you know when the drum riser is level? When the drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth.

    How do you get a guitar player to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of them.

    What is the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

The version I heard of the joke posted by @ieales goes:

Q: "What do you call an unemployed drummer?"

A: "A drummer."

Both are very hurtful ;-) .

Today I watched a number of videos on YouTube of interviews with and instructional talks by guitarist Robben Ford. In them he describes himself as self-taught (good teacher ;-), and freely "confesses" he doesn’t read musical notation. He’s done pretty well for an illiterate.

When Robben and his two brothers left Ukiah California (in a band named The Charles Ford Band, in honor of their father), they stopped in San Jose, moving into a rental house near the corner of Stevens Creek Blvd. and Saratoga-Sunnyvale Road. The bassist of my senior year high school band snagged the bass gig in the Ford Band, and I saw them live many times.

All the guitarists in San Jose had their abilities put into perspective when they saw Robben play. Seeing and hearing a talent like Robben is a humbling experience. He don’t need no sheet music! It didn’t stop him from getting work with Joni Mitchell, Miles Davis, and George Harrison (another non-reader who did pretty well for himself).

Both are very hurtful ;-)

Nowhere near as hurtful as seeing your friends lose their livelihood and homes. Computers drove me out of the studio and into manufacturing.

Clapton also can't read music.

There was a hilarious outtake floating around about 50 years ago from a Troggs session wherein the band wanted the drummer to repeat a fill on another take. Play that in a session and the gig was toast because everyone was ROTFLTFAO.

Troggs music contains drum fills? And they’re considered a garage band! ;-

For those who are interested, Robben cites Mike Bloomfield as his first role model (like he, every musician I knew had their world change upon hearing the first album by The Paul Butterfield Blues Band). His second Eric Clapton (we didn't know Eric was on about half of the Yardbirds For You Love album---the other half being Jeff Beck of course, so it was Clapton's playing on John Mayall's first album that caught our attention), his third Hendrix.

What, no Albert or Freddie King?! 

More Laughing...

@erik_squires 

lol brilliant

great jokes on here 

think I might post some audio jokes one day

No need.

In many regards, Audio itself is a joke today

@ieales 

???

There are so many unproven false claims that sometimes I fall off my chair laughing... in despair.