Area 51 Cables and Interconnects

I was perusing the "hot sheets" this morning, at the grocery store, and picked up on an article by the Enquirer's audio writer, Dr. Okun. He reports that Area 51, Inc. is about to release cables that transfer an audio signal to another dimension at one end and return it to the associated equipment at the other, "without ever moving through or being effected by the universe as we know it". Obviously, they are highly directional and great care must be taken with terminations "so that the inter-dimensional stuff" does not leak out into our time-space. Dr. Okun characterises the sound of these cables as "otherworldly" and believes they will retail in the $150,000 range for 1 meter.
In related news, Doctors at NASA have revealed that Dan D'Agostino is not an alien as previously thought, but in fact a "monster of the Id".
Are these the same wires used in those unpleasant "probes" that people report?
I heard that Bud Hopkins and Whitley Schreiber already have then installed in their systems. The first reports though are of PRAT or "missing time" problems.
I had a few sets of those cables sent to me as prototypes. In return for offering "constructive criticism", i was told that i could keep them. After listened for just a very short time, i quickly sold them. While i couldn't really put my finger on what was wrong with them, they just seemed to "alienate" me from the music.... : ) Sean