A little levity on September 1st


Hello.

As we all know, I don't post any of the monumental amount of spam I receive, but this provided me with more than a few chuckles over the past two days, so I figured, why not share it with my audio buds.

Hope everyone enjoys these as much as I did,
Joe
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9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their rear ends to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their tails!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dummy?
trelja

Showing 1 response by semi

Add one more:

"To be honest with you", especially coming from your financial advisor's mouth. So all along he was not honest and only interested in stealing money from you. I knew one.