1)Thou shalt not have any systems above thine own (thunder quakes)
2)Thou shalt not play music thoust doest not enjoy (lighting cracks)
3)Thou shall keepeth thine system clean and free from dust (earth quakes)
4)Thou will removeth any dirt from thine stylus each time thouest play a record (people shudder and sparatic shivering amongst the crowd)
5)Thou shall handle your vinyl with reverences similar to precious jewels or the last snickers bar(in the distance, a dog whimpers)
6)Thou shalt not bear false witness to other audiophiles about how much better different pressings are (more thunder)
7)Thou shall seek and destroy all static and removeth it from thy vinyl (even more thunder with some lighting thrown in for effect)
8)Thou, meaning you, shall set aside a time each day to listen to the LP of your choice (that dog whimpers and cowers a little further in the distance...he tucks his tail, I won't say where but you get the idea)
9)Thou shalt not covet thy best audiophile freinds turntable (Ok this is like thunder, lightning and a large gasp all at once...very frightning..as a matter of fact just typing it causes me to tremble)
10)Thou, yes you again, must clean all vinyl with a suitable wet cleaning system before playing each new LP. Also you must use a good sleeve and lp cover. (a large crack of thunder with lighting, earthquakes and the dog just runs away with so much fear he may never come back...
ok he will come back at dinner time; you know dogs. But the thunder is really loud!Wear hearing protection so as to not cause any hearing damage)
Now carveth these laws I have given you in a large vinyl tablet and hangeth it over your turntable, so as not to forgeteth the rules that have been laideth downeth for thou (yes you once more)on this most audiophilia-educational typeth day!
2)Thou shalt not play music thoust doest not enjoy (lighting cracks)
3)Thou shall keepeth thine system clean and free from dust (earth quakes)
4)Thou will removeth any dirt from thine stylus each time thouest play a record (people shudder and sparatic shivering amongst the crowd)
5)Thou shall handle your vinyl with reverences similar to precious jewels or the last snickers bar(in the distance, a dog whimpers)
6)Thou shalt not bear false witness to other audiophiles about how much better different pressings are (more thunder)
7)Thou shall seek and destroy all static and removeth it from thy vinyl (even more thunder with some lighting thrown in for effect)
8)Thou, meaning you, shall set aside a time each day to listen to the LP of your choice (that dog whimpers and cowers a little further in the distance...he tucks his tail, I won't say where but you get the idea)
9)Thou shalt not covet thy best audiophile freinds turntable (Ok this is like thunder, lightning and a large gasp all at once...very frightning..as a matter of fact just typing it causes me to tremble)
10)Thou, yes you again, must clean all vinyl with a suitable wet cleaning system before playing each new LP. Also you must use a good sleeve and lp cover. (a large crack of thunder with lighting, earthquakes and the dog just runs away with so much fear he may never come back...
ok he will come back at dinner time; you know dogs. But the thunder is really loud!Wear hearing protection so as to not cause any hearing damage)
Now carveth these laws I have given you in a large vinyl tablet and hangeth it over your turntable, so as not to forgeteth the rules that have been laideth downeth for thou (yes you once more)on this most audiophilia-educational typeth day!